The impact of longer lives and urban jobs
In 1900, life expectancy was 48 and 97% of the population worked on farms. That meant the average person got married around 18 or 19, farmed, never changed careers or moved, till they died in their mid 40s.
Chances were, either you or your mate would die from disease, famine, injuries on the farm, war, or childbirth, at an early age. If you had 20 good years together, you were lucky.
Those of us who have been married, know that each major change greatly increases the stress on a marriage. Major changes that can take a marriage to the breaking point are the birth of children, career changes, moving from city to city, and so on.
Previous to 1900 there were very few changes in a persons life except for the birth of children.
In 2005, life expectancy is 78 (30 years longer), 97% of the popluation works in non-farm jobs, most people get married in their early 20s, have two or three major career changes including moving cities.
If one is to stay married to your first spouse, on average, that is going to be around 50 years of marriage, two or three children, four or five career changes between both spouses, and moving between cities three or four times. That's a lot of stress!
Can we really expect modern marriages to survive under all this change and stress. It's no wonder that the divorce rate is over 50%.
However, the answer isn't to have less change or to go back to living on the farm. The answer is to expect less from the out-dated institution called marriage. Perhaps we should have expiration dates on marriage licenses.
Or, perhaps we should never get married at all.
Chances were, either you or your mate would die from disease, famine, injuries on the farm, war, or childbirth, at an early age. If you had 20 good years together, you were lucky.
Those of us who have been married, know that each major change greatly increases the stress on a marriage. Major changes that can take a marriage to the breaking point are the birth of children, career changes, moving from city to city, and so on.
Previous to 1900 there were very few changes in a persons life except for the birth of children.
In 2005, life expectancy is 78 (30 years longer), 97% of the popluation works in non-farm jobs, most people get married in their early 20s, have two or three major career changes including moving cities.
If one is to stay married to your first spouse, on average, that is going to be around 50 years of marriage, two or three children, four or five career changes between both spouses, and moving between cities three or four times. That's a lot of stress!
Can we really expect modern marriages to survive under all this change and stress. It's no wonder that the divorce rate is over 50%.
However, the answer isn't to have less change or to go back to living on the farm. The answer is to expect less from the out-dated institution called marriage. Perhaps we should have expiration dates on marriage licenses.
Or, perhaps we should never get married at all.
posted by sj05 at 12:18 PM
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